Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I love being home ...

I am enjoying this time away from the office so much! Although there is still work I have to do almost daily, it's wonderful to just take care of the necessary items, then walk away & focus on my family. I'm realizing more & more everyday how quickly Cole is growing, I feel like I have missed so much this past year in all my busyness. It's amazing how you can work at home 2 days a week, and, yet still engross yourself so much in work - that your not really having time with your child anyway. I need to work on that :)

Jason, Cole & I have been enjoying watching a video each night of Cole growing up. We are down to 3 tapes, and, I'm realizing how little we tape now...this year only twice - his birthday & Christmas. I need to change that too! It's precious to watch all those little moments that we have forgotten! We started with my baby shower & are up to Cole's first Christmas. Amazing how only 3 tapes left are supposed to document 3 years of his life? Geez...I gotta get that camera out more! Cole is loving seeing himself & especially Daddy on TV.

We did get a call tonight from Jason's Parents with a prayer need. His Mom (Betty) has been fighting back pain for quite some time now. She has treated with Chiropractor visits & now physical therapy with no luck. They did an MRI before Christmas, and, just found out that she has a herniated disc. I don't understand much about that - but, they say it's a large herniation. They have a few options on the table....surgery or pain managment. Having just come from this battle with my Grandma Rosie with pain management, and, hearing all the risks involved in deadening nerves, etc .. it scares me. But then again, I don't want her to have to have surgery either. Please pray with us for a healing in Betty's back.

Tonight is a date night for Jas & I, which is really exciting to me because we never get them when he works - his schedule is just too crazy. Now, if I can only get more than 2 hours of sleep "tonight" maybe I won't fall asleep at dinner tonight!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

A very overdue update....

Ah...it's been a while since my last post. That's life I guess. So much has happened since then - so many good things!!

Jason is still at home, on crutches (well - he uses them "most" of the time), no weight bearing until 1/14 when he goes back to the Dr. If the foot is continuing to heal nicely - they will let him walk on it - just in "the boot" for 4 more weeks. By the time this whole thing is over he will have been in that crazy boot for 12 weeks (we hope no more). He thinks he's going back to work 1/15 -- Dr. has not committed to that yet - so we will see. He's anxious :)

Grandma Rosie is at home, and doing pretty well. They did end up doing the Colostomy at the beginning of December, and, she's suffering from nausea quite a lot. Throwing up after MAJOR stomach surgery is not good! Still, we know now it's not cancer - so we are holding on to that. They still believe she has live radiation in her body that is causing this damage. It's a very rare case -- only happens to a small percentage of patients ever. At first you would think "wow, I never want to have radiation after seeing this", but, at the end of the day - Radiation has saved my Dad's life, prolonged 2 of my Grandpa's for MANY years, saved Grandma Rosie from Cancer - and, is currently curing my good friend Jenna. So..sometimes we just have to take our chances and know it's in God's Hands :)

We had an amazing Christmas. I was worried this year that I would be sad - I downsized Christmas a lot. (well, you kind of have to when your down a job!). But, it was nice. Cole could have cared less about the "extras" I got him, only really caring about the one thing he wanted (hello - I so could have saved about $70 there!). It was hard only giving my Parents & Jason's Parents one small gift each. They have all done so much for us that we felt like it was really bad -- but, they understand the situation, and, hopefully next year things will be different :) I think the best part for me, was getting to have my husband home the past 5 weeks. In all the years we have been together, we have never ate dinner together during the week (except a vacation here or there), and, certainly never slept in the same bed every night. I know it will be very hard when he goes back to that crazy schedule :(

Another Christmas Blessing...we found out on 12/23 that we are officially licensed Foster/Adoptive parents! I have no idea what God has in store for us with this. It's exciting though :)

Jason, Cole & I all get to enjoy this week, at home together - next week I go back to the craziness of Lake Williamson (launching 2 more properties with Midwest!!), and, Cole goes back to school. I just hope we can find some quiet family time this week :)

Hoping you all had a very Merry Christmas & wishing you the happiest of New Years!
Love, Jenny

Monday, December 7, 2009


First of all, I just found out that my Grandma DOES NOT have Cancer. I know, this is totally crazy. As of yesterday, there was cancer was in her bladder, rectum, uterus (that isn't even there anymore) and everywhere in between. It had eaten an (internal) whole in her body, causing the need for a colostomy today. We were told that after the surgery today, they would start chemo to prolong her life, and, and at some point move to hospice. MINUTES before the Dr went into surgery today he got a call from Pathology that the latest tests showed no cancer. He chose not to release this to the family, went ahead to start the procedure for the colostomy -- and, while he was in surgery found absolutely no sign of cancer. I believe with all my heart this was a Miracle from God. My 93 year old Great-Grandmother (my Grandma, RoseAnn's Mom) sat & prayed with her before surgery today, and, felt God tell her all was OK.

All this said, she is not out of the woods yet, something is going on - something caused a large internal whole that cannot be repaired and, something is continuing to cause pain that is only controlled through liquid Morphine. The Dr has said this could be live radiation still in her body from 8 months ago when she had Uterine Cancer. If it is, and, can't be stopped or controlled - it is fatal.

4 weeks ago, when I was praying so desperately for my Grandma I "thought" God spoke to me. I have to be honest, I have never had that before - so I wasn't really sure. But, I just kept hearing "It is done". I still don't know what "it" is. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not so crazy.

We also found out today that Jason will not be able to return to work on light duty. It's a big financial concern for our family, but I also feel like God is giving him a much needed break for this foot to heal - hopefully without surgery.

AND, finally we took Cole back to the developmental pediatrician today for a f/u appt to check on the medication they put him on in October. We believe it is helping, although, he is still struggling at times. The Dr agreed, and said he saw noticeable changes in Cole from the last time. He did increase his medicine slightly to see if it helps with his concentration at school.

To say that my heart is beating fast right now would be a vast understatement, I feel like it's about to jump out of my skin!!!

Thank you to each one of you who have & continue to pray so faithfully for my Grandma, Jason & Cole. We are so blessed to have you in our lives.

Jenny, Jason, & Cole

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Prayer requests....

It's been a rough morning. We received some tough news about my Grandma Rosie today. It apparently is cancer, and, they can't do much for it. She isn't able to go through the surgery she would need. They plan to put in a colostomy bag on Tuesday - and, they have said they can do chemo to prolong her life. So far we don't have any type of time frames from Dr's. They are still waiting on biopsy results to determine the stage of cancer. I can only imagine how my Great-Grandma will feel when she hears this news (at 93 and really very healthy). My Dad & his 4 brothers are all very close with their Mom, and, 13 Grandchildren, and 2 Great-Grandchildren. My Grandma has always been the pillar of our family--smoothing things over with brothers or cousins when disagreements happen, taking care of us all physically, emotionally & spiritually, and, making sure we all gathered together for as many holidays as possible. I honestly believed that my Grandma was indestructible...I'm struggling to even wrap my mind around what they said today.

Update on Jas....he's still home. Surgeon decided that because of the invasive nature of the surgery it would be better to let the break heal on it's on if it will. He has seen early signs of it trying to heal, so that's good. 2-4 months no weight bearing -- if anyone knows my husband, this is going to be rough. We are waiting to see if Schwan's can offer him anything "light duty" to do. He would really like to go back to work.

All that said, I'm going to push through today and try to put up Christmas Decorations in our house. I have been putting it off for 2 weeks, maybe hoping if I wait long enough all will be happy & merry.

We would all appreciate your prayers for Grandma.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Jason has been home since this week, waiting to see the surgeon for his foot. I know that he's feeling a bit out of sorts...so much of his life is work, and he feels a bit lost without it. Although, he's done a great job of spoiling me while he's been home! The last two nights I have come home to WONDERFUL dinners on the table, and, the house cleaned up. I appreciate all the effort he's put into this so much :)

We go & see the surgeon at 9am tomorrow...we are anxiously waiting to see what happens next.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Surprise! Your foot is broken......

Those could be the 4 worst words for my husband to hear. After 3 weeks of being treated for Gout, and, his foot not getting any better - I sent Jason back to the Dr. today. I was hoping for this magic "gout shot" everyone kept telling me about. Instead the Dr. told us that his foot was infected & showed us the fracture on x-ray. Of course this still doesn't rule out the gout (poor Jas couldn't be so lucky), now they just think that the fracture caused the gout - which apparently happens sometime. The best they can figure is it was broken around the time it started to hurt (4 weeks ago or so), and, he's been walking on it all this time.
They sent us away today with medicine for the infection, X-Rays to take to the Orthopedic Surgeon this week, and, instruction for NO WORK until after the surgeon decides what to do. Jason is literally climbing the walls already. In 13 years at Schwan's he's had 2 unexpected days off work....1 when Cole was born, and, 1 when Cole was in the Hospital last year. He's worked through countless cases of bronchitis, pneumonia a few years back, and a terrible staph infection.
Not sure when we will get to see the ortho yet...but they told us it would be very soon. We are both anxious to find out what they will do.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The A-Bomb dropped today.....

Although we deal with Autism everyday...when the really hard days come, we joke that the "A-Bomb fell today".
Well, it's been one of those days.
A frustrated, tense, sad & overall exceptionally hard day.

Jason is on a 10 day work stretch trying to take 4 days off with the family at Thanksgiving, we haven't spent anytime with him since last Sunday, and, we won't get to until Thanksgiving day. I haven't decided yet if this was worth it.....
So, it's just me & Cole. And, with Jason's Dad having surgery this week, and recovering for the next week - I don't really have any back up for days like this - which makes them even harder. (Imagine the most heated argument you & your spouse have been in....and, then not being able to walk away & get some space, it's not pretty!)

I just want Cole to listen to me, I am exhausted repeating myself over & over again.
I hate the fact that once I've completely had it, I yell.
I feel terrible that when he's upset the only thing he can do is throw things. I want to help him, but instead I get angrier.
The hardest thing, is knowing that he honestly has no idea why I'm upset. When I cry, he hugs me & tells me "don't cry Mommy". When I yell...he yells back. On the rare occasion I have been angry enough to spank...well, you guessed it -- all it did was encourage him to hit back.

We are two emotionally charged individuals - who knows, maybe I fall somewhere on that crazy spectrum. Either way ... I hope for both Cole & my sake that we can find some happy time later. Right now I'm really missing that.....

Here's praying for a healing night & better day tomorrow :)

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Our busy day...

My crazy day began with meal planning, grocery list & paying bills. I quickly moved into "show" mode. This is a term I use often when I don't have enough time to clean the house thoroughly - but it's show-worthy...basically - I hit the dishes, counter, floors & tables, and, the rest can be excused away. You know the "Sorry about the mess, it's laundry day". WHATEVER - we all know it was laundry day 4 days ago, and, the stacks are still sitting there! Unfortunately my dear hubby was working today - he's an awesome help around the house.
Cole & I interviewed a lovely girl from in town today to be a part-time babysitter for Cole. This was a HUGE step for me since I have never left him with anyone other than family & very close friends. She's only a freshman, but has experience with Children with Autism so my hope is she will stick with us through high school. She was cute & very sweet...I hope she works out.
Off to visit Norm today, bandages came off from his surgery & his face looks GREAT. Whipped up a Chicken & Stuffing Casserole for the in-laws for dinner, and, then off to the next task at hand.
THEN came the yucky part of the day....Walmart & Grocery Shopping with Cole. First of all - I am getting to the point that I hate Walmart. Every time I go in there I get sucked into 10 extra things I do not need -- and, I'm finding their prices are getting higher and higher. AND...my child has a terrible case of the gimmies. Being an only child he's quite spoiled - and - his Dad doesn't make that any better :( I'm hoping with some strong discipline this will start to diminish.
To finish it off...it's currently WWF (or whatever it's called now) in my living room floor. I'm pretty sure the dog is winning.....
Looking forward to Sunday...and, hopefully a nice long nap :)