Monday, April 26, 2010

Our circumstances may change, but the will of God does not change.

As I'm writing this this morning, I'm listening to an amazing message online from Pastor Michael Obi. I love how someone can speak for 90 minutes, and something they think was just one statement - will stay with me forever. In this message, it was the title of today's entry. "Our circumstance may change, but the will of God does not change". This is so relevant to us right now.

If you haven't yet heard. I'm now a full-time, stay-at-home Mommy. This wasn't planned...but, it now is our circumstances.

While I have always loved the thought of staying home with Cole, I felt a strong calling to the Ministry at LW and felt God wanted me to work in both outlets. So...when that calling changed last week - it was very scary for me (and Jas). It was hard for us to trust it was the right thing to do. (Have you ever gone from 2 incomes to 1 - just like that?) But, circumstances were changed for me, and, we felt the path had been laid.

My biggest fear is that I will feel my "purpose" is gone. I'm struggling trying to figure out how to reprogram my mind that being a Wife & Mother is my purpose right now. God is taking me on a spiritual journey that, I pray, will lead me to contentment that I am living in His will now.

Of course we have very real/immediate fears health right now is a huge concern (and was a factor in the circumstances of this situation). The health & development of our unborn baby is at a crucial point - and, I'm still battling this illness daily. Our Dr's have done all they can do at this stage, I need Gods' healing & strength for this baby, myself & my family.

We also have to relearn how to live our lives. We have always lived very carefree with our finances....that is drastically different now. We have extremely limited funds & will be tested weekly on our self-control.

Jason's Parents made HUGE sacrifices to help us make this happen. They believe so completely this is the will of God. I stand amazed how someone can give up so much personally - because they know that this is right. I want that Faith.

This is the scariest thing we have ever done - but, yet, there is a part in both of our hearts that believe this is where God has been leading us. That alone is enough to help us to jump.

We would appreciate your prayers as we continue on this journey :)

Sunday, April 4, 2010

I have reached 11 days of severe sickness. At only 7 weeks along, I have barely been out of bed in the last week :( My family has been wonderful - taking turns coming & sitting with me around the clock while Jason works. Cole has really appreciated having someone to feed him!

I spend most days in bed until early afternoon - the on the couch for the rest of the day. I'm trying hard to work a few hours each afternoon, but, it's been hard with how sick I have been. I am on medication around the clock to try to help. The Dr. said I have severe hyperemesis....which is just basically the worst kind of morning sickness/all day sickness.

The worst part for me is that I feel like I'm getting very down in the dumps. I want to be excited about everything happening for our family, and, instead I feel sad & depressed about how sick I am.

I am really praying I get some relief soon.