As I'm writing this this morning, I'm listening to an amazing message online from Pastor Michael Obi. I love how someone can speak for 90 minutes, and something they think was just one statement - will stay with me forever. In this message, it was the title of today's entry. "Our circumstance may change, but the will of God does not change". This is so relevant to us right now.
If you haven't yet heard. I'm now a full-time, stay-at-home Mommy. This wasn't planned...but, it now is our circumstances.
While I have always loved the thought of staying home with Cole, I felt a strong calling to the Ministry at LW and felt God wanted me to work in both outlets. So...when that calling changed last week - it was very scary for me (and Jas). It was hard for us to trust it was the right thing to do. (Have you ever gone from 2 incomes to 1 - just like that?) But, circumstances were changed for me, and, we felt the path had been laid.
My biggest fear is that I will feel my "purpose" is gone. I'm struggling trying to figure out how to reprogram my mind that being a Wife & Mother is my purpose right now. God is taking me on a spiritual journey that, I pray, will lead me to contentment that I am living in His will now.
Of course we have very real/immediate fears too....my health right now is a huge concern (and was a factor in the circumstances of this situation). The health & development of our unborn baby is at a crucial point - and, I'm still battling this illness daily. Our Dr's have done all they can do at this stage, I need Gods' healing & strength for this baby, myself & my family.
We also have to relearn how to live our lives. We have always lived very carefree with our finances....that is drastically different now. We have extremely limited funds & will be tested weekly on our self-control.
Jason's Parents made HUGE sacrifices to help us make this happen. They believe so completely this is the will of God. I stand amazed how someone can give up so much personally - because they know that this is right. I want that Faith.
This is the scariest thing we have ever done - but, yet, there is a part in both of our hearts that believe this is where God has been leading us. That alone is enough to help us to jump.
We would appreciate your prayers as we continue on this journey :)