Surprise! Your foot is broken......

Those could be the 4 worst words for my husband to hear. After 3 weeks of being treated for Gout, and, his foot not getting any better - I sent Jason back to the Dr. today. I was hoping for this magic "gout shot" everyone kept telling me about. Instead the Dr. told us that his foot was infected & showed us the fracture on x-ray. Of course this still doesn't rule out the gout (poor Jas couldn't be so lucky), now they just think that the fracture caused the gout - which apparently happens sometime. The best they can figure is it was broken around the time it started to hurt (4 weeks ago or so), and, he's been walking on it all this time.
They sent us away today with medicine for the infection, X-Rays to take to the Orthopedic Surgeon this week, and, instruction for NO WORK until after the surgeon decides what to do. Jason is literally climbing the walls already. In 13 years at Schwan's he's had 2 unexpected days off work....1 when Cole was born, and, 1 when Cole was in the Hospital last year. He's worked through countless cases of bronchitis, pneumonia a few years back, and a terrible staph infection.
Not sure when we will get to see the ortho yet...but they told us it would be very soon. We are both anxious to find out what they will do.

The A-Bomb dropped today.....

Although we deal with Autism everyday...when the really hard days come, we joke that the "A-Bomb fell today".
Well, it's been one of those days.
A frustrated, tense, sad & overall exceptionally hard day.

Jason is on a 10 day work stretch trying to take 4 days off with the family at Thanksgiving, we haven't spent anytime with him since last Sunday, and, we won't get to until Thanksgiving day. I haven't decided yet if this was worth it.....
So, it's just me & Cole. And, with Jason's Dad having surgery this week, and recovering for the next week - I don't really have any back up for days like this - which makes them even harder. (Imagine the most heated argument you & your spouse have been in....and, then not being able to walk away & get some space, it's not pretty!)

I just want Cole to listen to me, I am exhausted repeating myself over & over again.
I hate the fact that once I've completely had it, I yell.
I feel terrible that when he's upset the only thing he can do is throw things. I want to help him, but instead I get angrier.
The hardest thing, is knowing that he honestly has no idea why I'm upset. When I cry, he hugs me & tells me "don't cry Mommy". When I yell...he yells back. On the rare occasion I have been angry enough to spank...well, you guessed it -- all it did was encourage him to hit back.

We are two emotionally charged individuals - who knows, maybe I fall somewhere on that crazy spectrum. Either way ... I hope for both Cole & my sake that we can find some happy time later. Right now I'm really missing that.....

Here's praying for a healing night & better day tomorrow :)

Our busy day...

My crazy day began with meal planning, grocery list & paying bills. I quickly moved into "show" mode. This is a term I use often when I don't have enough time to clean the house thoroughly - but it's show-worthy...basically - I hit the dishes, counter, floors & tables, and, the rest can be excused away. You know the "Sorry about the mess, it's laundry day". WHATEVER - we all know it was laundry day 4 days ago, and, the stacks are still sitting there! Unfortunately my dear hubby was working today - he's an awesome help around the house.
Cole & I interviewed a lovely girl from in town today to be a part-time babysitter for Cole. This was a HUGE step for me since I have never left him with anyone other than family & very close friends. She's only a freshman, but has experience with Children with Autism so my hope is she will stick with us through high school. She was cute & very sweet...I hope she works out.
Off to visit Norm today, bandages came off from his surgery & his face looks GREAT. Whipped up a Chicken & Stuffing Casserole for the in-laws for dinner, and, then off to the next task at hand.
THEN came the yucky part of the day....Walmart & Grocery Shopping with Cole. First of all - I am getting to the point that I hate Walmart. Every time I go in there I get sucked into 10 extra things I do not need -- and, I'm finding their prices are getting higher and higher. AND...my child has a terrible case of the gimmies. Being an only child he's quite spoiled - and - his Dad doesn't make that any better :( I'm hoping with some strong discipline this will start to diminish.
To finish it off...it's currently WWF (or whatever it's called now) in my living room floor. I'm pretty sure the dog is winning.....
Looking forward to Sunday...and, hopefully a nice long nap :)