One minute thirty-seconds....

Yes, this ALL happened in one minute & thirty seconds tonight...

Children sitting in respective seats at table, eating dinner
Mom plating up Dad's dinner
Jacob gets off chair & returns with a full bottle of popcorn oil, proceeds to dump it on himself & all over my floor
Mom takes Jacob to utility sink to hose him off
Returns to Kitchen to begin mopping up the quart of oil that is now floating on my floor, only to find the dog on all fours on the kitchen table enjoying hamburgers, fries & homemade cheese sauce

I'm convinced a reality show following my life would be a huge hit. You just can't make this crap up.